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Title: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: JulianPerez on September 19, 2007, 12:54:11 AM (http://www.hyperborea.org/flash/images/superboy-prime.jpg)
To Everyone: Thanks for keeping the faith alive with me. No really, I appreciate that. All this fake righteous indignation and pretending to care about me, now that a writer's actually uses me...well, it warms the cackles of my heart. Yeah, it was a tough twenty years between my disappearance in COIE and Infinite Crisis. I had to do a lot to make ends meet. I joined the merchant marines, and hoped to forget myself both at sea, and in the arms of numerous, painted-faced Malaysian prostitutes. Many of you may have heard in the tabloids about my DUI, or about my lifelong struggle with caffeine addiction. But the thing that kept me going...the thing that got me through all those dark times...was that classic DC fans were always talking about me and clamoring for my return, right? Right? You dickheads! You forgot me like yesterday's lunch! And now you have the nerve to get huffy now that I'm a big player in the DCU! Man, I just did a search of this forum for "Superboy-Prime." Crap! Until Infinite Crisis, the Elliot S! Maggin writer-obsession Superwoman had more threads about her than I did. The darn Supermobile, that everybody hated, Cary Bates included, has more threads! Did you know I wasn't even included in the Superman Sourcebook for DC Heroes? And that was done around the time of Crisis, before my, ah, "Freshness" date had expired. Friggin' Karb-Brak and Blackrock got character sheets! Karb-Brak! Blackrock! Superboy-Prime? You lumped me in and forgot about me just like you forgot about whatshisname, that Viking dude that rode a bird. Looking through some of the posts on this forum, well, call me crazy, but I get a sense a lot of you people don't like Crisis on Infinite Earths. Me, I love it. Of course I do! Wouldn't YOU love the only time people ever payed attention to you? You think I was the only guy from Earth-Prime? Remember Ultraa? Yeah, neither do I. But everybody, including you, know who I am because of Crisis. Worse, you figured I was dead, just like everybody else. "Place of infinite light and beauty?" Ha! Don't go saying now that you knew I was alive the whole time. Heck, even I thought I was dead until Geoff Johns called my agent to bring me back. DC COMICS: "We're going to bring back Superboy-Prime!" FANDOM: "Who?" But hey, at least you bought the comic to keep my career going, right? Oh, snap! No you didn't! Fact is, I love being a heavy. Are you kidding? I'm ten times cooler as a villain than I ever was a hero. As a hero, I didn't even make it to the roleplaying game. I was just another alternate universe Superman time forgot. As a villain, though? I've got gravitas. It took TWO Supermen to stop me. And that scene where all those Green Lanterns were making a shield? Man, that was cool. That was the first scene that we filmed for that issue, and when I got on set, I realized this was serious business. I got a little tingle when those computer rings flashed and said "Green Lantern of Space Sector 2214 deceased. Seeking new owner." "Green Lantern of Space Sector 1145 is deceased. Seeking new owner." Geoff Johns and Marv Wolfman did for me what Steve Englehart did for Hugo Strange and Deadshot. What Quentin Tarantino did for Travolta. He pulled me out of nowhere, explained what I was doing all this time, and took me out of an overcrowded field and gave me my own niche. And they gave a new snazzy costume to boot! That's the one great gripe I've got: all the really super-important stuff that organically explained how I got so deranged was placed in that Marv Wolfman special. (But you guys didn't read that either.) Fact is, I owe Geoff Johns and DC everything. Well, them...and Scientology, which saved my life when I was down and out and taught me to eliminate my reactive mind. Man, all this stuff is really harshing my Operating Thetan level, so here's a replay for the West Coast: none of you were there for me, so none of you have the right to get ticked now I'm in the big leagues. People are excited now about my return. Excited! About me, Superboy-Prime! When has that ever happened? So don't go ruining it for me. I've just got one more thing to say: I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Didio! Smell you suckers later, Superboy-Prime Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: MatterEaterLad on September 19, 2007, 01:08:29 AM Dear Superboy-Prime:
The world you hail from was shifted from clever to Bronze Age dumb before your existence was even noticed, sad to say by Ultraa and the "atomic catastophe" etc . Turned it from an interesting concept to just another fan boy reality. LOL, about as "realistic" as a fan boy having a girlfriend (not counting ones who have a statue of "Sailor Mars" in their bedroom). ;D Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: nightwing on September 19, 2007, 08:22:25 AM Who?
Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: Superman Forever on September 19, 2007, 10:11:04 AM Who cares?
Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: dto on September 19, 2007, 12:18:54 PM Dear Superanakin Primewalker:
Actually, I WAS one of your so-called "dickheads" who still remembered you, and unfortunately I now wish I NEVER read DC Comics Presents #87. I even started a "Time for Prime?" thread on this Message Board's Superboy forum way back on June 16, 2004: http://superman.nu/smf/index.php?topic=924.0 Reading my original post sickens me. I can't believe I really missed that enthusiastic kid with an off-beat sense of humor and all that potentially explosive Earth-Prime knowledge about DC characters. I wanted to see you and the other Paradise Dimension residents return, but I should have known DC Comics would make me rue that day. Then again, I also wanted Kara Zor-El back, and look what we got! It's "Be careful what you wish for" with a vengeance nowadays. :( Perhaps I shouldn't vent my anger at you personally -- after all, you're probably "retcon-punch drunk" from hammering that crystal wall and inadvertantly altering your own past. Yes, I noticed the changes in your history between DCCP #87 and your current bio in Infinite Crisis Secret Files and Origins. No wonder you're so unstable -- you basically denied your own true beginnings and substituted a illogical pastiche based on comic books and childhood fantasies. Face it, your parents NEVER owned a FARM! So why do you insist that your rocket landed there? But even if you're insane and not fully responsible for your bloody actions, I cannot ever accept you again. Goodbye, forever. Resentfully yours, DTO P.S. As for your "spokesman" JulianPerez, I understand he just wanted to "stir the pot", but I'm not very happy with him right now. This shouldn't get under my skin, but being called a "dunderhead" (via a once-favorite character, no less!) has rubbed some raw nerves. >:( Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: Super Monkey on September 19, 2007, 01:26:20 PM See we had this feature called Karma at one point and oh never mind...
Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: MatterEaterLad on September 19, 2007, 02:30:54 PM Like the "lonely" Superboy-Prime, the people who actually paid attention to Norma Desmond were the ultimate suckers.
Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: nightwing on September 19, 2007, 03:42:02 PM Quote This shouldn't get under my skin, but being called a "dunderhead" (via a once-favorite character, no less!) has rubbed some raw nerves. Indeed, we have some odd filters around here, considering how puritanical they can be while still letting a word like that get through. I think it's time for Rao to update them to filter out clearly objectionable terms like "dunderhead" and "Geoff Johns" (assuming that's not the same filter). Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: Great Rao on September 19, 2007, 04:32:57 PM Quote This shouldn't get under my skin, but being called a "dunderhead" (via a once-favorite character, no less!) has rubbed some raw nerves. Indeed, we have some odd filters around here, considering how puritanical they can be while still letting a word like that get through. I can't always predict every objectionable term that might be used, so I rely on forum posts like this one to alert me to them. It's been a long time since I've had the opportunity to add any words to the filter, so I'm grateful to Julian for his recent use of "baloney," one that I obviously missed. I didn't even realize that "dunderhead" was another one, Nightwing, but I'm willing to go ahead and come up with something for that one too. Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: Uncle Mxy on September 19, 2007, 09:46:33 PM Superboy-Prime COIE, who's not vulnerable to red sun radiation:
http://superman.nu/tales2/comet/?page=21 isn't the same person as Superboy-Prime IC, who was kicked in the dunderhead by red sun radiation on multiple baloneys. Obviously, when Superboy-Prime COIE went to a paradise dimension, he went to the land of Kurt Busiek's Secret Identity, and this Superboy-Prime IC guy is an impostor. Of course, we didn't talk about wishing for an impostor Superboy-Prime. Sheesh. Give us -some- credit, Julian-Primez. Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: Michel Weisnor on September 19, 2007, 11:01:44 PM For a minute, I thought Superbo..MAN Prime was going to say: "Heh" or "Stupid earth" or more of Geoff Johns' recent Prime dialogue.
I read DC One Million, written by Grant Morrison :D, just before Infinite Crisis came out. Initially, I thought DC One Million Superman Prime was the adult Superboy Prime arriving in Infinite Crisis. DC One Million is set in the future afterall. It's too bad this isn't the case. Instead, we get Superboy Prime: 1) whining a lot (even beyond "But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters" whining) 2) punching heads off heroes 3) in general, killing 4) commiting a form of patricide 5) self-mutilation 6) toadying. That's the kind of characterization we really need in this day and age. Maybe during Final Crisis, Grant Morrison will rectify Johns' Superboy Prime mess. ... In regards to Geoff Johns, I really enjoy most of his recent work. Booster Gold is nearly flawless. Sinestro Corps War is fantastic, fully dealing in Green Lantern mythology. Justice Society of America #9 had pancakes. Infinite Crisis was just awful compared with his earlier and now later books. It's too bad. Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: nightwing on September 20, 2007, 08:14:53 AM Great Rao writes:
Quote I didn't even realize that "dunderhead" was another one, Nightwing, but I'm willing to go ahead and come up with something for that one too. Hopefully you can filter out that specific iteration, and not all occurences of "dick" in general. I mean I can see the appeal of filtering out the name of that place where the Devil lives, but when a harmless salutation appears here as "Hecko" (as in "'Hecko Larry' is my favorite MacLean Stephenson vehicle"), something is wrong. I'd hate to see the Batman forum filled with discussions of "Putz Grayson" or "Wee-Wee Sprang". Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: jamespup on September 20, 2007, 08:14:09 PM Wow, it really does that?
To quote the Three Stooges: Hello Hello Hello HELLO ! hmmm...guess not,,,bloody hell Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: Klar Ken T5477 on September 20, 2007, 09:01:57 PM I wonder how Dick Giordano will read?
Title: Re: A very special message from Superboy-Prime Post by: Super Monkey on September 20, 2007, 09:33:25 PM At least Hell and Ass still works, as they should. Hell is not a real cuss word anyway and ASS (All Star Superman) is just the best comic to be release in a long time. Yet one of the nastier cuss words still gets through... I suggest runt as a sub.. cough...
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