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Author Topic: What would you do if YOU were Superman?  (Read 12261 times)
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Uncle Mxy
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« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2005, 02:15:42 PM »

If I were Superman, I'd want to learn all the languages to do more than translate Estonian into English so I could add the umlauts in the right places in the old Deities & Demigods books.  Smiley  

I'd want to learn enough to identify and get all these "world leaders" in a room and working out their differences.  I'd want to know enough to have robots do the translating.  For that matter, I wouldn't want the world to know that a SuperMAN as such really even exists.  Let the world think robots from outer space are intervening to try and keep humanity from blowing itself up, or somesuch.  The sight of a billion people chanting "Klaatu barada necktie" would be awe-inspiring, I'm sure.
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JulianPerez
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« Reply #17 on: September 14, 2005, 03:20:57 PM »

For the record, Uncle Mxy, there is nothing frivolous or pointless about umlauts, as many eighties hair bands will tell you.

Quote from: "Uncle Mxy"
I'd want to learn enough to identify and get all these "world leaders" in a room and working out their differences.  


Or, better yet, in the words of Gary Larson, "put them in a jar with holes at the top, shake it, and see if they'll fight!"

Quote from: "Uncle Mxy"
For that matter, I wouldn't want the world to know that a SuperMAN as such really even exists.  Let the world think robots from outer space are intervening to try and keep humanity from blowing itself up, or somesuch.  The sight of a billion people chanting "Klaatu barada necktie" would be awe-inspiring, I'm sure.


Hey, it worked for Astro Boy.

Although - show of hands: who would use their powers in secret vs. using their powers openly if they were in fact, Superman? Because both approaches have their pros and cons:

Keeping Powers Secret: You get to trick and play gags on people at a level never before seen. And nobody could possibly complain, because who could ever believe the cause of things is superpowers? "No, I couldn't possibly have melted that 20 foot ice sculpture you had made of yourself, Ted Turner - what, you think I have 'laser-vision' or something?" Great choice if you're the type that loves laughing on the inside.

Using Powers Openly: Enjoy the movie-star level adulation from a grateful world, and it allows participation in high visibility crisis events. And it isn't like you're getting hollow praise from bootlicking sycophants for doing something mediocre, like win a game show - you're Superman, saving the earth from Lava Men!
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"Wait, folks...in a startling new development, Black Goliath has ripped Stilt-Man's leg off, and appears to be beating him with it!"
       - Reporter, Champions #15 (1978)
NotSuper
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« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2005, 02:48:38 AM »

Something else that I'd do would be inventing new devices and donating them to the public. That way they wouldn't need me to save them as much.  :wink:
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Many people want others to accept their opinions as fact. If enough people accept them as fact then it gives the initial person or persons a feeling of power. This is why people will constantly talk about something they hate—they want others to feel the same way. It matters to them that others perceive things the same way that they do.
JulianPerez
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« Reply #19 on: September 15, 2005, 05:07:47 AM »

Quote from: "NotSuper"
Something else that I'd do would be inventing new devices and donating them to the public. That way they wouldn't need me to save them as much.  :wink:


See my comments above about "robots going psycho."

The seatbelt has been pretty much unchanged for the past 30 years, surely there's got to be some SUPER-way to make them work better.

Maybe forcefields to prevent oil from spilling from tankers and contaminating wildlife?

In the immortal wisdom of Jack Handey: "Why not just put a parachute on the plane itself? Is anybody listening?"

How about a flea collar that actually gets rid of fleas? Sure, it doesn't help out mankind, but it'd make a bunch of pooches happy.

I remember reading somewhere about how Alexander Graham Bell invented a means to talk on a beam of light. I wonder whatever became of that invention...
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"Wait, folks...in a startling new development, Black Goliath has ripped Stilt-Man's leg off, and appears to be beating him with it!"
       - Reporter, Champions #15 (1978)
Uncle Mxy
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« Reply #20 on: September 15, 2005, 01:48:29 PM »

Quote from: "JulianPerez"
The seatbelt has been pretty much unchanged for the past 30 years, surely there's got to be some SUPER-way to make them work better.

Speaking as someone with a little experience here and there using MADYMO and PAM-CRASH simulating auto crashes and restraint systems, the geek in me wants to type out a horribly long-winded "you're mostly wrong" kind of response and I'm fighting it with all my non-Kryptonian might.  But I'll just say that really, there's nothing "super" needed technology-wise.  Put a sensor in the driver's side seatbelt buckle.  Tie it into the electronics of the car such that you can't get the car out of "Park" while the engine is running without having the seatbelt on.  As an added bonus, tie a proximate breathalyser sensor to the shoulder strap.  A Superman would help more with political will than technology in this particular arena.  

Hmmm...  how often do we ever see Superman doing "public service announcement" commercials in the context of the comic book world?  

"I can bend steel in my bare hands."
[girder bends]
"I can change the course of mighty rivers."
[insert footage of Superman saving the Mississippi]
"But I can't stop telling random reporters glib lines like 'Miss Lane, statistically speaking, flying is still the safest way to travel'.  I'll keep the air safe
[footage of Superman saving the space shuttle and Air Force One]
But I need you on the ground to do your part.  Wear seat belts.  Don't drive drunk.  Be a hero.

Thank you.  Up, up, and away..."
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Captain Kal
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« Reply #21 on: September 15, 2005, 04:32:25 PM »

Really busy at work these days but a quick quip for Uncle Mxy:

To put it the way I saw it on a "Social Engineering Specialist" T-shirt:

"There is no patch for human stupidity."
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Captain Kal

"When you lose, don't lose the lesson."
-- The Dalai Lama
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