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Author Topic: real BRAINIAC????  (Read 6327 times)
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Klar Ken T5477
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« on: November 17, 2005, 03:31:45 PM »

Here's a pic from an upcoming Weekly World News featuring "Chuck 1138" - and yes, the editor and I decided to go for the classic look of the future - BRAINIAC! And yes his shirt is pink but it's a B&W photo.  Chuck Lee is one of our regulars who predicts the future by ingesting large amounts of hot mustard and this is his future self come for a visit in the present.

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TELLE
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« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2005, 04:15:06 AM »

Awesome!  Any Bat-boy team-ups coming?
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Klar Ken T5477
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« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2005, 06:26:59 AM »

No - but new BOY-BAT coming  (The Adventures of Man-Bat when he was a boy?)

Hopefully steel cage match with Bat Boy himself later. :wink:

SKREE SKREEE!

Still trying to push thru a story about a rocket crash landing in Kansas with  baby on board... :roll:
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Brainiac44
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« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2005, 11:46:19 AM »

I don't have a nose like that and my teeth are better looking... :evil:

Brainsy.
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Klar Ken T5477
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« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2005, 06:19:05 PM »

When this WWN JOE DYNAMO story ran, somebody (not me) took the time to actually type this  up and put it up at the DC MSG Boards.

How many Super- references can you die hards find?

Real-Life Superhero Arrested!" Weekly World News June13,2005
Posted: Jun 7, 2005 12:21 PM
   
by Dick Siegel:

Ellsworth, Colo.- The superhero known as Joe Dynamo has been arrested by local authorities after he accidentally shocked Mayor Boring into unconciousness during a rescue effort. The white-clad warrior surrendered without a struggle.

"It was a momentary lapse," said the superhero, whose real name is Joe Schuster. "I didn't mean to harm anyone."

Mayor Boring and his party were in the reviewing stands at a Cinco de Mayo parade when the wooden structure began to buckle and collapse.

Speaking from his cell at the police station on Infantry Path, Schuster recalled, "I was flying overhead when I saw the grandstand begin to teeter. Naturally, I swooped down to prevent it from collapsing."

Commissioner Curtis Swanson, who was part of the reviewing party shuddered, "I felt the platform begin to wobble. Obviouslywe had all consumed too many nachos that day! Suddenly a white streak appeared from above. I felt my hair stand up- what little I still have," he chuckled, "and then I heard a thunderclap. The next thing I knew the platform was resting safely on the ground."

Schuster had used his power over electricity to crate a cushion of ball lightning under the toppling grandstand. He was about to zoom off when Mayor Boring insisted on shaking his hand. Forgetting he had removed his insulated glove to fire the life-saving blast, Schuster extended his bare hand. When they shook, sparks flew and the politician fell to the ground, out cold. Police Commissioner Swanson had no choice but to arrest the hero for aggravated assault. "I guess that's the price I have to pay for being AC/DC," Schuster observed.

Though the elusive Joe Dynamo has been helping people for months, this is the first time he has agreed to be interviewed. "It's not like I have any urgent appointments," he remarked, looking around his cell. The youthful avenger was still dressed in his tight white leotard with a red lightning bolt across the chest and a matching bolt on the forehead of his mask. To make sure he didn't remove his gloves the police had wrapped his wrists with black electrical tape. "Actually, it's fitting that I should wind up in a cell," Schuster told us.

"I'm a bio-electrical engineer researching how electricity can spur or inhibit cellular growth. I was working in the laboratory at DARE- the Denver Association for Research and Experimentation-when a petri dish of cells overloaded. It was like pouring too much water on a potted plant. The dish exploded, embedding electrified cells in my body. I was knocked insensible. But the current was still on and the cells multiplied. When I woke, my muscles were pumped. I tried to stand and was propelled through the roof and into the sky. I didn't stop moving untill I slammed into Pikes Peak."

Schuster looked longingly from his hands to the bare light bulb in his cell. "As long as there's a place where I can recharge I'm able to store and discharge electricitylike - well, like a dynamo. That includes generating static charges which allow me to fly. I decided to use my abilities to help others," Scuster added. "This rubberized costume keeps me from shocking people. And as long as I don't kiss the ladies when I'm fully loaded, I usually pose no danger."

The 27-year old genius began to tell us about his daily life. He lives in a modest apartment complex a few blocks from DARE and, untill the accident, spent most of his time in the lab or at a bar called Pick-Up Stix. It's a hang-out for anorexic models,' he laughed. "I don't have a lot of time to date, so I sit sit there trying not to look too nerdy as I drink club soda. It's funny", he added. "I used to think those bubbles tickled. That's nothing compared to 220 volts flying from your nose when you sneeze."

Just then, an alarm sounded. Shots suddenly rang out, and this reporter went from being an interviewer to being part of a breaking story.

Next Week: Crisis on Infantry Path
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JulianPerez
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« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2005, 08:02:11 AM »

Hey, wasn't there a superhero that showed up in the Weekly World News a while back...WEDGIE MAN? It was in the same issue where they explained that humans evolved from pigs.

Man, that was a great article, because the picture of the guy had him with this absolutely hilarious sneer to camera as he pulls up some guy's underwear.

Actually, that would be a surprisingly effective superhero gimmick. I mean, I had a a few of those back in the schoolyard, and do they ever hurt like a mother.
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"Wait, folks...in a startling new development, Black Goliath has ripped Stilt-Man's leg off, and appears to be beating him with it!"
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Klar Ken T5477
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« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2005, 05:49:49 PM »

First PILGRIM SUPER HERO aka Miles Mannering is on sale now.
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RedSunOfKrypton
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« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2005, 03:28:50 AM »

I still can't believe people read that and believe it. I always get a few laughs from it.
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"...and as the fledgeling Man of Steel looks for the first time over the skyline of this city, this, Metropolis, he utters the syllables with which history is made and legends are forged: This, looks like a job...for Superman."
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