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Author Topic: The Funniest Thing I've ever read in my life  (Read 7528 times)
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Great Rao
Council of Wisdom
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« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2007, 04:42:17 AM »

I had heard the Muslim claim that Jesus escaped, but not the India part...

My understanding of the Muslim belief is that although Jesus wasn't crucified, killed, or ressurected, he was assumed up into Heaven by God:

Quote from: Muhammad
And their saying: Surely we have killed the Messiah, Isa son of Marium, the messenger of Allah; and they did not kill him nor did they crucify him, but it appeared to them so and most surely those who differ therein are only in a doubt about it; they have no knowledge respecting it, but only follow a conjecture, and they killed him not for sure. Nay! Allah took him up to Himself; and Allah is Mighty, Wise.

So no dying in India.  In fact, no death at all.

Quote from: Julian Perez
The Muslims insist he escaped the cruxifiction and died in the Kashmir province of India.

Julian, you're referring to the "Swoon Hypothosis": that Jesus was crucified, taken down from the cross while still alive, then assumed a false name ("Yuz Asaf") while he travelled in India searching for the lost ten tribes of Israel, where he was worshipped by the Hindus until he died at the age of 120.  This is considered a pretty wacky theory - even moreso than the DaVinci Code - and mainstream Muslims regard it as a heresy.


"The bottom line involves choices.  Neither gods nor humans have ever stood calmly in a minefield forever.  Good or evil, they are bound to choose.  And when they do, you will see the truth of all that motivates us.  As a thinking being, you have the obligation to choose.  If the fate of all mankind were in your hands, what would your decision be?  As a writer and an artist, I've drawn my answer."   - Jack Kirby
Superman Squad
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« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2007, 12:55:45 PM »

I didn't see the funny that you were talking about, until I read the last line... Smiley

This is actually not uncommon. Peter Jennings or someone had the 'search for Jesus' on ABC a few years ago, and the Da Vinci Code has spun off all sorts of things. The Gnostic gospels are another new-agey thing that have become popular.

First, Mary Magdalene: in the Bible she is only mentioned as being part of a group of women who were healed by Jesus, witnessed his crucifixion, and came to his grave to anoint his body. The idea of her being Jesus' girlfriend comes from Jesus Christ Superstar, while the idea of her being married to him is even newer. 

Second, the names of the people in the tomb: Jesus and Judas actually have the same name. (When their names were translated later, a distinction was made to avoid confusion.) It was a very popular name, nothing spectacular about it.  Mary was also a popular least four people named Mary are mentioned as having seen Jesus around the time of his death, and there was most likely more than one person named Mary who ever lived in Magdala.

"Trying to capture my wife, eh? That makes me SUPER-MAD!"

-"Superman", 1960

Superman Squad
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« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2007, 02:05:39 PM »

Everybody does it. For some reason (perhaps the allure of the mystery of corpus delicti), everyone, regardless of faith, likes to fool around with the idea of Jesus Christ running around. There is even a sect in Japan that claims he fled there, married, had kids, and died of old age which is actually pretty cool.

Between the revolution and the firing-squad, there is always time for a glass of champagne.
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