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Author Topic: The worst superhero comics ever published  (Read 12643 times)
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Great Rao
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« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2007, 05:56:40 AM »

"Hot on the heels of Ms. Mystic #3 comes...."



http://the-isb.blogspot.com/2006/04/dollar-comic-review-skateman-1.html
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"The bottom line involves choices.  Neither gods nor humans have ever stood calmly in a minefield forever.  Good or evil, they are bound to choose.  And when they do, you will see the truth of all that motivates us.  As a thinking being, you have the obligation to choose.  If the fate of all mankind were in your hands, what would your decision be?  As a writer and an artist, I've drawn my answer."   - Jack Kirby
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« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2007, 08:50:36 AM »

I eagerly looked forward to Ms Mystic #1 after reading an awesome, career-spanning interview with Adams in the Comics Journal, circa 1981.  One of those disappointments you remember forever.

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« Reply #10 on: September 07, 2007, 12:28:36 PM »

I'm a proud owner of Thunder Bunny #1:

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« Reply #11 on: September 07, 2007, 01:05:33 PM »

So is that kid just applauding, or should I take he's activating his transformation into a steroid freak with a rabbit's head?

Because if that's the only way to get super, it ain't worth it.

And yeah, Ms Mystic was a let-down.  Almost worth it for the nude (or nearly) scenes in issue...2, was it?  Except that Neal's really not that good at drawing women.  They look like boys with balloons on their chests. 

Come to think of it, maybe he was just ahead of his time...

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JulianPerez
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« Reply #12 on: September 07, 2007, 02:25:02 PM »

Quote from: TELLE
3-d man certainly has an awesome cover and a great Canadian connection: Jim Craig did the original int. art, as i recall.

Other things that had a Canadian connection:

The XFL
Al-Queda

Quote from: TELLE
Just because they never caught on doesn't mean they are bad ideas

Okay, with you so far...

Quote from: TELLE
so Fatman transforms into flying saucer (btw, how cool is that?). What about the millions of other transforming heroes --Marvels's 80s Capt. Marvel has to transform into light to fly, for instance,

Captain Marvel, and an Ariel Sharon-looking fat man, both turn into stuff. Which means they must be EXACTLY THE SAME!

Are you also, by any chance, a fan of Scrappy-Doo and Jar-Jar Binks?

The real "money shot" for me, is the fact when Fatman changes into a saucer, his face is still on it.

Quote from: TELLE
3-d man has tons of potential

I agree! A 3-D Man/Bat-Mite/Jar-Jar Binks/Scrappy-Doo crossover might be the only comic in history where merely touching it actually gives you AIDS.

The only reason he's being used in AGENTS OF ATLAS is because the population of 1950s Marvel heroes is so alarmingly tiny that you had to bring in a character from a romance comic (Venus) to get anything like a quorum.

Quote from: TELLE
Worst superhero comics ever published?  Secret Wars II?  The crappy 3rd string JLA with Vixen and Vibe?  Most of Image? 

Far be it for me to interfere with dissing Gerry Conway, but...

Did any Image comics have a book about a fat man that became a flying saucer? No! Thus, Fatman > Image.
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« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2007, 06:49:24 PM »

why is it that when Julian posts something insane, I am the one who gets all the hate mail?

Just saying. You can send them to Great Rao too Tongue

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« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2007, 07:10:06 PM »

TELLE writes:

Quote
so Fatman transforms into flying saucer (btw, how cool is that?).

Umm...not at all?  

Quote
What about the millions of other transforming heroes --Marvels's 80s Capt. Marvel has to transform into light to fly, for instance, and then there were those transforming robots --what were they called?

Well, they're all lousy.  Is that what you meant?  80s Captain Marvel was lousy, TV's "Automan" was lousy, the "TurboTeen" cartoon was lousy...the list goes on.  

I kind of liked "Transformers"...not the vehicle version but the one where the robots turned into animals as a means of coping with the environment of a planet they crash-landed on.  But even when they looked like animals, they were still robots, with metal parts beneath.  Flesh and blood changing to steel, rubber and gears is a bit much for me.  Logically if Turbo Teen ever lost a tire, then when he became a human again he should've been missing a hand or foot.

Wow, I can't believe I said "Turbo Teen" and "logically" in the same sentence. Shocked

Quote
3-d man has tons of potential and fits into that 70s "Defenders"-type hero mold of also-rans (Nova, Omega) that Julian was mentioning in another thread.

C'mon, 3-D main is a 6th-tier character at best.  He's like one of those superheroes invented for comics made to promote Radio Shack products or Tandy computers.  Hey kids, it's Duncan Yo-Yo Man!  

The whole point seems to have been that he was "typically 1950s."  I'm guessing because "Happy Days" and "Grease" were big at the time (Hello, Jack?  It's the 70s now!).  No doubt his fellow heroes were Hula-Hoop Girl, Ducktail Lad, the Beatnik and Baron Bryl-Cream.


Quote
Worst superhero comics ever published?  Secret Wars II?  The crappy 3rd string JLA with Vixen and Vibe?  Most of Image?  Really, a fish in the barrel question.

I think every title that's been around for more than a few years has had at least one lousy run, and I tend to view mini-series like Secret Wars as "storylines" rather than seperate entities unto themselves.  That is to say, SWII may have been a lousy idea, but it used okay to great characters, whereas "Fatman" is bad from the ground up.

If we ARE to include Secret War-like books, however, virtually every crossover title ever done is a contender for me, especially DC's: Armageddon, Millenium, Bloodlines, Invasion, War of the Gods and Zero Hour, off the top of my spleen.


JulianPerez writes:

Quote
The XFL
Al-Queda

Two nefarious points in the Axis of Evil.  Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy

Quote
Far be it for me to interfere with dissing Gerry Conway, but...

Did any Image comics have a book about a fat man that became a flying saucer? No! Thus, Fatman > Image.

No, but if Fatman had been popular, you can bet Image would have ripped him off.  Image comics are definitely in a class by themselves when it comes to "worsts"; worst writing, worst art, worst lapse of ethics, worst case of hype exceeding ability.  But the concepts were often fine.  And why not?  The concepts were "Superman", "The X-Men," "the Spectre" and so on...

In fact, the only books the Image crowd never swiped from (but should have) were books on human anatomy.

TELLE writes:

Quote
Just because they never caught on doesn't mean they are bad ideas

Exactly.  Just like the XFL.  Not to mention Diet Coke, the Edsel, Klinton Spilsbury as the Lone Ranger, Don Johnson albums and Cousin Oliver on the Brady Bunch.  

Or, he said, returning to the theme of the thread, this comic:




As ably chronicled here: http://blogzarro.com/?p=154
« Last Edit: September 07, 2007, 07:11:41 PM by nightwing » Logged

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« Reply #15 on: September 07, 2007, 07:15:05 PM »

As a sidenote, I just noticed Julian's karma rating is a staggering negative 39!! 

This feature is turning out to be a lot more entertaining than I expected.  Cheesy
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